Transitions and Journeying

Sometimes you wonder if the very things that make up your life are the right things and, even if they are, are you doing them for the right reasons. I mean, one could easily do the right things for the wrong reasons and thereby one would need to question whether those "right" things would become "wrong" just because of the motivations behind the action.

Jesus spoke to this when he told us how to pray in quiet, to fast without drawing attention to our suffering, and to give in such a way that no one would know what we were doing. If we did these things publicly we were doing them for humans and not for God.

The rules of the Christian community can be somewhat like that. The thing I hear as the reason for being why many people are burnt out on church or don't come anymore is that the church is full of hypocrites... and there are some defenses to this accusation; "Hypocrites are everywhere, of course they are in the church!"; or, "Well, some churches but not ours/my friends."; or, "Christians are just held to an unreasonable standard.".

While these defenses may be valid they do not excuse some of the things we have done to appear hyper-critical of a world that does not know Christ and hypocritical in our own lives. After, Christians often tout the "sanctity of marriage" while maintaining a divorce and adultery rate on par with the world; the holiness movement is only too happy to pick on anyone who drinks or smokes (health concerns seem to be their concern) but have no problem with eating too much on a daily basis; Christians don't want people living together before marriage but try bringing up pornography in a room of Christians and watch the heads drop; we talk about loving others, loving the sinner and hating the sin but how many of us really volunteer at Crisis Pregnancy, abused women's shelters, feed the homeless, or even really know the needs of our neighbors?

We- and I include myself in this- need to seriously evaluate how we are following Christ. Not clocking in on Sunday for 1-2 hours. Not just singing in worship but wildly loving our Father. Not just "tithing" but giving generously. Not just whispering a "thanks" prayer before we gorge ourselves but really communicating with a Friend.

We need to question the institutions of religiousness and Pharisee-ism and embrace a home to be found in God.

"Teaching is not the transference of information but helping people discover something that will change their lives."

"Truth that is untested is only theory"

"We've become addicted to the religious experience and not the truth."

- Wayne Jacobsen and Brad Cummings on The God Journey podcast

Man, it has been a really rough couple of days. Doesn't it seem like some days people are just spiraling out of control?

SEX... it's always an issue

A friend of mine wrote a blog awhile back on sex before marriage and really opened up some honest dialogue. You can read it in it's original context here... or just read on below. His name is Paul Kind. Hope you enjoy it.

Trouble Talk Part 3 :: Sex Before Marriage

NOTE: This is not an autobiographical nor biographical scenario.

Imagine you're a believer, a follower of Christ. Transition into adulthood has cast doubt on a lot of what you once thought faith in Jesus meant. For example, there are less things today that you hold strongly to than you once did - your "gray areas" have grown by leaps and bounds. However, you still unreservedly believe that loving God and loving people are at the crux of how you want to live your life. Now imagine you're unmarried and without a significant other. Then she comes along (insert he if that suits you better). You have a connection with this person unlike any you've ever had before. It's well beyond the fact that she is attractive physically, everything about her is intriguing. Your conversations with her resonate to the depths of your soul; you're connecting on seemingly every level. But the thing that throws you off a bit is she's not a Christian. You never would have thought you could have such a connection with an unbeliever. She's certainly no heathen. She's caring, generous, active in the community, cognizant of spiritual matters, and in many ways much more pleasant to be around than many Christians you've known. She's all that you've ever dreamed of - even a person of faith - just not exactly the Christian faith as you've traditionally understood it. Four years ago you would not have entertained the idea of being in a relationship ("yoked") with an unbeliever, but in this season of "gray areas" and "asking lots of questions about faith" you go a different direction. You dive headfirst into a relationship with this wonderful, faith-filled person.

As one might expect in a blossoming relationship, the physical aspect of the relationship comes to the fore before too long. She's more than willing and you're definitely wanting. If you would take the time to stop and think about it the Christian mantra might ring in your ears - "True Love Waits!" If you wanted to you could dig around in your junk drawer and come out with at least four purity pledges signed between the ages of eleven and seventeen. But the thing is you aren't really stopping to think about it too much, and you aren't dusting off those purity pledges. In fact you're kind of agreeing with her when she asks, "Why? Why would you not have sex?" She sees it as a natural expression of the relationship you have with one another and everything in you is agreeing. You're eager for the Christian faith to be attractive to her, and yet all you have to say on this issue is "I shouldn't do it; I shouldn't have sex before marriage."

Again she asks, "Why?" And you're left asking yourself, "Do I really believe this? Why not have sex?"

----------------------------------------------

This is a tough scenario unmarried believers are facing all over the place. A number of my friends have articulated situations not too distant from the made-up one above. What would you say to help us out? Why not have sex before marriage?

The traditional answers are clear:

• Risk of sickness, infertility, or even death from STD's.
• Risk of emotional trauma from relationship fallout - both with the significant other and the friends & family that you might be breaking trust with.
• Effects on marriage relationship one day.
• Risk of getting her pregnant.
• The Bible says not to.

Yet one could easily find themself in a place where:

• STD's aren't really in the picture.
• And you're convinced that emotional trauma is always a risk in relationships whether sexual or not.
• And you don't really see how having sex is going to be any different from doing this, that, or the other thing you already did in various relationships.
• And you use birth control.
• And you're not convinced that "porneia" (Greek work often translated as "fornication" or "sexual immorality") or the Bible for that matter is speaking against monogomous loving relationships, but more so against promiscuity or abusive sexual relations.

So what then? What do you say to help this individual wrestle through this tough situation? Why not have sex before marriage?

Jesus Vs. Rules

A few months ago I was in a conversation wherein I asked/challenged my companion, "What if we just simply gave people the Bible and community and stopped trying to make up rules that aren't to be found anywhere in Scripture"

To which he (to my horror) replied: "Because the Bible would give them too much freedom."

I'm sorry but it as this point that my hackles raise. There are many things that have been said about what the church should do but among that list I have NEVER heard non-attenders/former-believers/critics/the spiritually curious say:

1. I would go to church if only there were more rules.
2. Why can't they just play some more hymns?!... (or music I don't recognize)
3. Pews are my preferred furniture.

Truly shocking is the proclivity of many "Christians" to follow the example of the early Pharisee believers who wanted to circumsize Gentiles (non-Jewish) Christians and demand that they follow the Law of Moses. In Acts 15, Peter (one of Jesus' top 3 followers) says this:

"So why are you now trying to out-god God, loading these new believers down with rules that crushed our ancestors and crushed us, too? Don't we believe that we are saved because the Master Jesus amazingly and out of sheer generosity moved to save us just as he did those from beyond our nation? So what are we arguing about?"

But new believers did need guidelines so later on in Acts 15 Peter, the apostles, and early leaders write a letter giving instructions:

1. Don't be involved with idols
2. Don't served food (such as blood) that is offensive to Jewish believers
3. Guard the morality of sex and marriage

Honestly, that seems like a strange set of rules to me but there is method to it and it has nothing to do with "do's and don'ts" to get to God. These are guidelines set to protect and stimulate the community humanity has with God and each other within the church.


Later Paul (NT author) writes to the church in Corinth and tells them that among people who claim to be Christians you have to hold them to this standard found in Acts 15 but as for outsiders/non-believers we withhold judgment since they haven't signed on board yet. (Scripture here).

Allow me to reiterate this point: it is NOT the church's place to judge the world. It's not our job. Stop doing it. How is it helpful to point out the obvious? Yes, the Bible does discuss specific behavioral patterns that are and are not "godly" but these make about as much sense to a non-believer or brand-new believer as you being informed that you are in violation of an Islamic-based law in the Middle-East. Do you care about that? Oh, well, they don't care either.

So over the next weeks we are going to reapply the guidelines in Acts 15 to the de-churched and un-churched of today's world. Our list looks like this:

1. Sex and dating
2. Things and money
3. Music, beer, and food

Hope you can follow along. We will also be posting talks to iTunes under Crux KC Online.

Remember, Christ told us to judge as we wanted to be judged. I, for one, would like a SUPER-lenient hearing.

Some Thoughts That Aren't Mine

We each are the sum total of the books we read, the movies we watch, the music we listen to, and the relationships we are in. That said, these are some of those things that have recently made my journal. Feel free to contribute your own or to comment on any.

"How we live our days is... how we live our lives.: -Annie Dillard

"Never make a principle out of your experiences; let God be as original with other people as He is with you." -Oswald Chambers

"For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in body, whether good or evil." - 2 Cor. 5:10

"People who are obsessed with Jesus aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God's Kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love

"How would telling people to be nice to one another get a man crucified? What government would execute Mr. Rogers or Capt. Kangaroo?" -Philip Yancy

Books to Read
Crazy Love, Francis Chan
To Own a Dragon, Donald Miller
Mission To Oz, Mark Tabb

Movies to Watch
Malcolm X
Rob Roy
The Basketball Diaries

Music to Check Out
Blue October
Sonya Kitchell (the song Soldier's Lament is amazing)
Waterdeep (song 18 Bulletholes)
Herbie Hancock (song Stiched Up)

Family and Family

Being a parent, youth pastor, coach, and mentor has brought a perspective to family structures that I did not have in my youth: that all families are dysfunctional (the extent is the only thing that varies) and that every parent screws up their children (again, the extent varies).

But as I spoke with a group of twentysomethings a few weeks ago they pointed out some things that I thought spoke mountains into the life of faith communities in churches and into their perception of families.

The question was posed: if you could transfer one blood family attribute into the church (which is supposed to operate like a family) what would it be?

They answered twofold:
One: That they could share their thoughts, feelings, fears, successes, struggles, and doubts without worry of gossip, rumor, emotional abuse and wounding. I don't think was this to say that all of their families were free of such things but rather that they saw this as a vital function and feature of "healthy" families.

Two: That disagreement could occur with respect. That "legalists", "liberals", "conservatives", and everything in between could come to the table and realize that opinions are simply opinions and everyone has them but that, at the end of the day, we love each other. For instance, if you have a brother that is acting like a jackass you still want/need to communicate with him because he is your brother. However, churches often treat relationships with other believers as expendable- that if we disagree or the conversation becomes too uncomfortable or you are too mean then I can just walk away. Not only is this not biblical it is hypocritical since we refer to each other as "brothers" and "sisters".

Just some thoughts. I'd love to hear if anyone thinks another rule or two could transfer over.

Dog-Paddling Vs. Sailing

Header note: some of the following will not effectively apply to adolescents or those still under someone else' authority/house/rules.

How many times have you gone to other people for advice, for direction, for them to tell you what to do with your life? I know that I have many, many times. But as I listened to a Podcast by Rev. Steve DeNeff from College Wesleyan Church I was challenged to think about the Holy Spirit. (The Spirit, wind, and tongues of fire that fell on the upper room in the opening chapters of the book of Acts in the New Testament.)

Picture yourself in a sailboat- the sail down- sitting on a large lake. You really want to move but you cannot find anything in the boat to make an effective paddle and you don't know how to use a sail and tack. So you lean over the bow and reach your arms into the water and start dog paddling to the destination of your choice. Seems kind of stupid, doesn't it?

How long will it take you to do a job the wind could do in 1/50 the time? But this is how many "spiritual" people live their lives: looking for a paddle that may not be effective for their lives (i.e. advice from others that may or may not work), not knowing how to harness the power of the Wind (the Holy Spirit's direction), and so they give up, pick a direction, and start ineffectively dog-paddling at a snails pace toward some distant mark that may or may not be the direction the wind is blowing.

What if we started harnessing that Wind? Allowing it to guide our lives instead of imperfect people and our own ideas. Francis Chan, in his book Crazy Love, tells a story of how- after a short term missions trip- he and his wife were lead by the Wind/Holy Spirit to sell their large home and move into a much smaller home in order to be able to give more to missions and to the church they pastored. He says that, at the time, no one affirmed the decision. They were told it was bad for their children, a bad move in the housing market, and was a spiritual "just for show" move.

This is not to say we should all throw out godly council, logic, intelligence, and simply let decisions fly in "spiritual high" moments but I am challenging the reader to ask themselves: what is happening in your boat? Where would the Wind take you if you let it?

Why Don't You Hold Onto That Rock?

In the book of Mark in the New Testament there is a story relayed to us that a woman, caught in adultery, is brought before Jesus. The pharisees want to know if she should be executed via stoning as the Old Testament law prescribed. Jesus doesn't answer for sometime and instead starts drawing in the dirt. Finally, after they asked him a few more times, Jesus said, "If you don't have any sin in your life, throw a stone at her."

Our lives, I think, are still a lot like this. Only we simply alternate roles from being part of the mob and the woman. If we are good (at hiding) we aren't the woman too often. We understand that the more we are part of the mob and busy stoning the guilty maybe no one will notice our guilt. If we root for a certain politician to fail, if we can make fun of someone else's sexual orientation/clothing/musical taste/job/etc., if we are up to date on the latest news of our friends that can be passed to other people, then we are successfully taking the focus off ourselves and maybe no one will notice that we are just as guilty as the people we are mocking and judging.

What Jesus does in that story is genius stuff: he makes the mob wait for an answer (I bet it got kind of quite as everyone waited for this controversial teacher to stop drawing in the dirt); then he makes everyone take their focus off of the person they want to judge and confront their own guilt.

My Tuesday night discussion group was talking about family and the church this last week and the question was posed: if you could take "family thinking" into the church what would you take in? The top two answers: safety and the ability to be "ourselves" without fear; and two, an understanding that even if we don't agree that we can still talk and work together toward a common goal (also known as "mutual respect").

So maybe in the midst of the non-stop character assassinations with public, sports, celebrity, and personal figures we should just stop and ask ourselves how much grace we would want if we were caught in the act of our darkest sin and drug in front of an angry mob. It feels different if the stones are going to be coming at you.

Stop Talking About Jesus

My friend Kenny and I often observe that if you gave the Bible to someone who had never read it, never been to church, never heard of Jesus, and was in a completely “secular” society and asked them- upon completing their reading- to list for you 50 rules that should be in a faith community attempting to live by these writings that person would never get close to the rules found in North American Christianity today. They would have really odd things on there such as, “Don’t drink blood or eat meat offered to pagan gods” (directions to early Gentile believers) but they would never dream to offer instructions on what kind of music was okay to listen to or to have in church. If they were a very astute reader they may gather that monogamy was God’s marital design… but movie watching probably wouldn’t come into that list. The reader would understand that we should treat the poor kindly.

Alcohol would never, ever, make that list.

And if we asked them, why not, they would probably point to the very person that our entire faith community and system is based around: Jesus.

These next weeks I will be looking at the teachings, acts, and sayings of Jesus that seem a little… well, odd. Since we are going in semi-chronological order we see the wedding in Cana where Jesus begins his ministry in the strangest of ways: by providing a party with more alcohol.

This story gets read right over, gets made “holy” fast without those of us who have read it dozens of times thinking it through from the eyes of someone who was there. Imagine someone in your church/synagogue/faith community who is about 30 years old and has been a part of your group for awhile. One day, you are all at an open bar wedding reception and they tell you it is closing time for the bar. In come some more servers who inform you that (insert name person you are imagining here) has just drove up with about 60 gallons of very good wine to keep the party going… you may find it strange.

Stranger still you think if this person came into church the next day and started smacking people around and telling them they better stop desecrating the House of God.

Stop. If you think this is hyperbole then you are not reading the same text I am. Jesus did not go into a church, he went into the church of the day. THE temple. And started violently correctly people’s behavior that was unacceptable to God. This is how that story looks to someone who was there.

The characters don’t know he is the Son of God, they don’t know all the church history- none of it has happened. This story cannot lose its shock and awe.

From the beginning Jesus seems way more concerned with people being invited in a party, into discussion, into living bizarrely different lives than he does in religious traditions. This really struck me this week as I heard Bill speak in the Summit at Heartland. He told about how much drama can be caused in churches by people sitting in the wrong row/pew/chairs and (as he puts it) hearing, “Well, that’s brother so-and-so’s seat. Who do they think they are?” In other words, they are far more concerned with their religious traditions- whether it be music, seats, events, ministries, and (gasp) rules- than they are with any type of authentic relationship.

If you are looking for a book to read check out Crazy Love by Francis Chan. In the book Chan suggests that for the next 25 years the church should not utter the name of Jesus- they have said too much about him and done too little. They should spend the next two-and-a-half decades attempting to love each other as Christ loved. The point of this challenge is not to take anything at all away from the person and work of Christ but instead as a type of “detox” period. You see, according to Chan, when the number one reason unbelievers will not accept Christ of even visit a church is the viscous backstabbing, gossip, and hypocritical ways of most believers we have a problem. We. You AND me. We are the problem.

Maybe we need a little more party and feast and a little less temple tradition.

*If you would like to follow our audio teaching please check out “Crux KC Online” on iTunes*

The UnUsual

Over the next weeks we are going to be looking at the person of Jesus and some of his... well, stranger moments. By that I mean, that we sometimes pigeon-hole Jesus into this nice and net role from which he may not divert but the reality is that he met no one's expectations and actually frustrated them.

Since we are dealing with these chronologically we will first be looking at the "water into wine" incident (ironic because it is what my previous post dealt with). The reason it fits my "weirder" category is that right after Jesus make copious amounts of alcohol so that a party may continue raging he is shown going into the temple with a homemade whip and tossing people out. Seems strange to me.

But we gain some powerful insight from this incident and many others into what Jesus was and what Jesus was not.

If you would like to follow our teaching from the past weeks or tune into the future stuff check out "Crux KC Online" on iTunes for our free podcast.

Why Jesus Drinking Alcohol Is NOT the Issue But As Long As You Brought It Up...

It occurred to me a few years back that I kept getting upset with people "outside" the Christian faith for how they acted... and how ridiculous that was. They do not subscribe to my beliefs or convictions or faith so why would they act as I would? And in rereading the Gospels it also became painfully obvious that Jesus was constantly upset with the most "religious" people who encumbered people who did not know God with more rules than anyone could keep.

So whenever I run across someone or something that I feel is encumbering to the mission of Jesus by being overly "religious" and not loving I tend to get bent out of shape... as I did recently in reading an article by Denn Guptill entitled "Why Jesus Drank and I Don't". I was upset as a Christian, a pastor, a person, a scholar, and as a Wesleyan (my denomination)... you can read it here for yourself.

In short my response is: why do Pharisees feel so compelled to talk? In a longer way... well, you can read my letter.

"To Whom It May Concern:

For several years I have been an active member, student, and minister in the Wesleyan denomination, I have listened, watched, and read many stances- both past and present… I have never written in to or in regard to the Wesleyan Life but this last issue concerned me greatly. You posted an article entitled “Why Jesus Drank and I Don’t” by Denn Guptill with which I took great exception on numerous points which I will list for the ease of the reader:

Scholarly Work

As an ordained minister Guptill, I assume, has had the privilege of a formal education. However, throughout the article he utilizes the assumption that Jesus drank which is one from silence. We see him make wine, host the last supper, assume he participated in cultural “norms”, and get called a “drunk” but nowhere do any of the Gospels state that Jesus drank.

Even so, moreover the problem lies in Guptill claiming that the distillation process dates back only 500 years while it is a well known fact that the Babylonians in Mesopotamia knew about and used distillation. A simple search of the Internet will prove this and yet the author apparently was too lazy, inept, misinformed, or falsely motivated to claim otherwise.

Last point here: the cultural argument was horrific. Jesus makes “good wine” at the wedding of Canaan- and anyone who drinks or knows anything about alcohol will tell you “good” means higher alcohol content (hence patrons being upset over “watered” down drinks). The claim that the wine at the time was 3-11% alcohol is so unimportant it is stunning it is mentioned. At what point does a “drink” become a “drink” then, I wonder? If beer is “only” 5-7% is that okay, then?

The Weaker Brother

It would also seem to me that a pastor such as Guptill would understand that in Romans 14 the “weaker” brother is the one who has to keep more rules. That said, is Guptill then claiming that he is refraining from drinking so that other people who refrain from drinking won’t drink? So he is a “weaker” brother helping other “weaker” brothers be “weak”? This kind of circular rhetoric is logically unsound and a hermeneutic nightmare that has been promoted and tolerated in educated circles for far too long.

Romans 14 also says that we should leave our personal convictions between us and God. So why are we, as a denomination, not following the advice of Paul and simply being silent about our own opinions about food and drink?

The Slippery Slope

“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” It evidently wasn’t enough to misuse Scripture but also the work of a famous author like Fitzgerald who was writing to a 1920’s flapper culture obsessed with overindulgence and greed. Any first year debate student will tell us that the “slippery slope” is a style to be avoided because it cannot be objectively proven and is one bred out of individual’s experiences and stories- not statistics.

Denominational Hypocrisy

It seemed to me that the 2008 General Conference granted local church voting rights to community members and allowed for personal conviction when it came to alcohol and tobacco use. If this is really our stance, that people who drink may be part of our membership then we cannot allow articles like this one to be printed without one on the other side of the page entitled, “Why Jesus Drank and I Do”. We are now talking out of both sides of our mouths.

Allow me to “weigh-in” on a related point that Guptill beats to death, that drinking leads to drunkenness. He is right… in the same way that eating leads to gluttony. It is true you cannot be a drunk without first drinking but by that logic we should all be anorexic. With the obesity and diabetes rate of Americans climbing annually I, for one, think it would be far more culturally impactful if we took a denominational stance against gluttony instead of alcohol… but that may hit a little to close to home. The point is the Bible speaks more to gluttony than drunkenness. We need to be against overindulgence on credit cards, possessions, money, alcohol, and food- not pick and choose to preach on just the stuff we don’t struggle with."

A Time to Kill

It seems like I never speak/study a topic without the Lord providing a way for me to learn in life as well. This week has been a study in how words spoken to others and about others (behind their back) and unresolved conflict WILL kill a relationship as sure as any bullet or knife.

We think of words as so dispensable- I heard of a girl that I know this morning sending over 10,000 texts in a single month- but they are not. There is a crossover between the physical and meta-physical when a word is spoken because it can never be taken back or changed- it is as safe in the past as the Revolutionary War and the Great Depression. Forever it will change the stream of life (think The Butterfly Effect with Ashton Kutcher).

Even with that said though it doesn't really hit home for many of us until we think of those words- you know the ones, that time your best friend betrayed you with gossip, the time your dad criticized you, the time your spouse ripped into your soul- and then we know what Jesus was talking about in Matt. 5. Words kill. We understand because we were killed.

... all that said, however, from Exodus 32, we see that there are times when killing is called for and even called "righteous" and "holy"... so what does that mean for our words.

In Exodus the tribe of Levi goes and slaughters 3,000 who had bowed their knee to the golden calf. For us, and our world of words (and less swords, knives, and guns), we must weigh words carefully but also know when to employ those "sword words".

When someone so steps out of line, so abuses someone/something else, we need to cut through them like the Levites, telling the truth- however ugly and difficult it may be- in order to bring righteousness back into the camp of God.

So, here is to swords and words, may they be used with the greatest of caution and sense of honor. Si vis pacem para bellum.

Quick Quiz on Whether or Not YOU Could Be a Congressman/Woman

A survey/quiz to see if you are smarter than or, at least, up to speed on recent news:

1. Do chimps make good pets?

2. Even if they do, should you give them Xanax?

3. Where does the government get their money?

4. ... therefore, if they give money away, who is technically paying for it?

5. Should you buy a home that you cannot afford?

6. If you cannot afford said home, what happens?

Anwers: 1. No; 2. No; 3. Taxpayers and business (they earn none of it); 4. Same as #4; 5. No; 6. The bank repossess it, a bailout happens, the irresponsible get the home back;

Note: This is not a political bias. It is an exercise in cause/effect and if words mean anything. It's not so much what people say that bothers me, it is when their "yes" does not mean "yes" and/or they are not intelligent enough to figure out that an animal that can lift 200 lb.s with each arm and is prone to aggression may not make the best of pets.

The Tired Run the World

"How ya' doin'?"
"Tired", comes the reply.

How many times throughout your week and year do you have this, albeit brief, but honest conversation? My father is fond of telling me that, "Tired people run the world."- his not-so-subtle way of telling me that I need to shut up and work harder.

And maybe for some that is true but I think that many of us are stressed out at work (putting in more than 40 hours and thoughts of it occupying us well into our home lives), trying to balance our family time, hauling kids around, and trying to occasional spend time with that person sharing our bed. Truth is, it all feels like work sometimes. It all feels coordinated, scheduled and laborious.

I, for one, want to stop. Even the 10 Commandments tell us that we are supposed to have a day off during the week. Given that 3 of the major world religions supposedly subscribe to this code its a pretty ecumenical barometer of spiritual health... and we take MOST of them seriously. We haven't killed anyone, slept with anyone's wife, built an idol to worship in the backyard- but rest seems like a suggestion. Like, "Why don't you take a break?"

But it is listed as an imperative, a Top Ten, something that is "holy" and set apart "to God". The truth is many of us will not get a two-day weekend that is hassle free but here are some steps towards planning your "holy day" off:

1. Leave work at the office (physically and mentally)
2. Do not take work calls/texts/e-mails (ideally, turn off your phone)
3. Plan time with people who fill you up spiritually and emotionally (and are not draining)
4. Do a couple of things just for you (take a walk, go for coffee, read a book, enjoy an album)
5. Play time with your kids/wife/husband/significant other (they need you relaxed to enjoy you)
6. Journal/reflect quietly. If only for 20-30 minutes, this time can really put some problems in perspective and let your spirit tune into the divine. When was the last time you had a spiritual epiphany while talking on your bluetooth, stuck in traffic?

God wants to talk to all of us and knows that without rest we don't function well. Sometimes, when I think about Him as a Dad, I think, He probably thinks of me like I do my kids when I know they are tired but won't go to bed.

Now, go take a day off. The tired will run the world while you rest.

Talking Too Much

The older I get the more I want to do and the less I want to say. That said... I will be launching a "sub-blog" in the next weeks. It will be a series of short and semi-short fictional stories. And while I know that there are a few people reading these posts but not commenting I am hoping that should you choose to be a reader of this upcoming blog that you would comment, observe, and help correct thinking, style, story, etc. as a way for us to help each other grow.

FYI, as usual, it will be a bit off the beaten path. Look for it in the next week or two under my home page or on my facebook account.

The Idols Under My Skin

The other day was frustrating... Sarah (my wife) had a lot of work to do, our kids were sick (Eva spent a couple of nights in the hospital), and I had work piling up around me and was in a REALLY good mood (that is blogger sarcasm). Basically, I was grumpy with everyone and finally Sarah sat me down and said, "What's wrong?" And I started talking and a whole bunch of stuff spilled out that I did not even know was bothering me but was festering in my subconscious.

Then Eva went to the hospital for walking pneumonia and I spent the week running my son around, trying to accomplish SOME work, updating concerned friends/grandparents/everyone as to Eva's status. I know I ate and slept but don't remember much- it's kind of hazy.

During all of this (relatively) minor disaster I thought to myself just how big stuff becomes little and little stuff becomes big... that is until you get whacked with something like this. We piss and moan about how we want/need more money, better job, different spouse (other people, not me), how annoying school/job/home is, and how we want _____________. But that blank is, almost certainly, a "little" thing- but that little thing now occupies a lot of brain space as we contemplate how to improve or change or eliminate that thing.

The past few days I have not watched movies, played video games, eaten healthy, gone to the gym, read much, or spent time with a lot of people who are directly seeking me out- all things that I try to do when life is going well.

However, the "big" stuff shrinks in size when life is well: we neglect family (at times), watch stuff we should not, read meaningless magazines, kill hours at malls/coffee shops/bars, we play video games and worry about people's opinions of our lives (most of whom are not that involved with us). We forget to call that friend back or tell people we love them because our minds are busy with all of that "important" little stuff.

I think this is why, as Americans, we can be the most guilty of idolatry. Our lives are good. We have free time. Expendable money (well, some of us). So the little stuff grows in importance while the big stuff shrinks.

My daughter can make me crazy: she is wound up, noisy, can pester me and her mother, and needs a lot of attention so she can seem draining. But when push came to shove that 30lb. little girl taking an ambulance trip reminded me of big an little... and just how big she needs to be.

What Comes First

It's true, God didn't write the Bible- at least not in the sense that He did not heft a great and holy pen and script verbatim what we see to this day. The writers of the Scriptures were entirely and wholly (and holy) inspired by God to write what they did but God Himself we only see write on two occasions: the first being the first of the Ten Commandments; the second would be Jesus writing in the sand as an adulteress is about to be stoned.

When you stop to think about it, the fact that God wrote IN STONE with his finger is pretty wild so as I am taking time to really read those famous Ten, I felt a little guilty about my first thought after about verse 8, I thought, "Man, God is kind of repeating Himself because the Second Commandment just seems to repeat the first." So I kept reading for a few chapters and went back and re-reread chapter 30 of Exodus and then it hit me (I can be slow so forgive me): God's First Commandment is not a rule, it is a choice in paradigm, stating, "You will have no other gods, only me" (The Message translation).

God is saying to us that we should read the rest of these Commandments, listen to them, follow them- but they are not the point. They are not the point anymore than it is the point of marriage to not commit adultery or the point of being a parent is to not beat your child. The point is love. If you love your spouse you will, by default, not commit adultery and if you love your child you will not beat them. Love dictates this, inspires this, lifts our hearts to the point where we don't have to be told HOW to love only inspired to love better.

So again, the First Commandment is not a rule but a choice between legalism and relational love with God. Between outward masks of piety and honest confessions that none are righteous and that we all need God because we are not going to make it on our own.

John, in his biography of Jesus, tells us that Jesus said, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness... will be added..." The searching, longing, finding of the Kingdom is first in the list, righteous comes as a natural by-product of love, not as a prerequisite of a relationship with God or event to attend church.

Recently I was having a conversation with someone who had just become a Christ-follower during one of CRUX services and we sat after our Tuesday discussion group and they said to me, "I am just afraid of telling people what has gone on in my life- they would just be too shocked."

I replied, "If you looked around this room (there was a large gathering of us) and could have seen everyone's baggage you would have seen rape victims, recovering alcoholics, porn-addicts, drug-abusers, miscarriages, abortions, and attempted suicides- there is not a lot we haven't dealt with here."

They said, "I guess my view of Christians has been really wrong."

I guess so, but why? Because as the church we (generally speaking) have not practiced the discipline and necessity of honest and brutal confession so as we do enter into a real love of God the transformation that takes place within our hearts is so private that no one is inspired by the change. We learned to wear a well constructed mask whether we grew up in church or came in later: we pretended to know what words like "righteous", "worship", "redeemed", and "holy" meant and then pretended that we did not curse, fool around with our boy/girlfriend, smoke, party, drink, watch R-rated movies, or look at pornography. Those were some good looking masks.

And when some unfortunate member of our mask-wearing brotherhood was caught at church or elsewhere without his mask (or it just slipped off) we were quick to denounce him or her. Given this, are we honestly surprised that the church has been said to be "full of hypocrites"?

God knew this and so gave us the First Commandment, "No other gods, only me". Only your spouse, only your child, only your best friend. Only a unique and amazing love that would inspire, draw, and lift you to where you only wanted to be close to a God that so wanted to be close for you He paid a debt you could not.

The heart of the following nine Commandments lies in how we choose in the First one. Legalism or relationship? Rules or love? That is the lens with which we see the world.

Don't buy it? When is the next time we see God write? When a woman is caught in the act of breaking one of the Ten Commandments, what does Jesus do? An act of love.

The LD

Some REALLY cool things have been happening within our community for the past several weeks: Crux on Sunday nights has had amazing music and we are doing a sweet series on God's Top10; we had Micah Kephart from Reach4Life in to promote a benefit concert (we raised over $1000) and 5 bands came into to play for FREE; and then our discussion group on Tuesday nights, which has been meeting at my house, has been blowing UP with people coming out to talk and hang-out. So I decided to post a few pictures so people could see what is going on. Here you go.

Dark Comedy: Disturbia Redux

So I ran into an old friend on facebook... and thought I was happy to see him. Then he posted this. So if I go missing, now you all know why. Just kidding, he was a cop and we did a lot of really stupid stuff back in the day and if anyone else sent me this I might cry. If you don't feel like following the link then just watch it below.